The Fun at Work Café - Workplace and Office Etiquette

Business Manners from Heaven

Workplace and Office Etiqutte

on The Fun at Work Café

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.
— Tony Brown

No man who is in a hurry is quite civilized.
— Will Durant

Never wear anything that panics the cat.
— P. J. O'Rourke

Never complain about your troubles; they are responsible for more than half of your income.
— Robert Updegraff

Little things affect little minds.
— Benjamin Disraeli

Also ensure that you read The Joy of Not Working in full view of your boss and your co-workers!
— Barack Obama

Whoever is in a hurry, shows that the thing he is about is too big for him.
— Lord Chesterfield

Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
— Mark Twain

If at first you do succeed — try to hide your astonishment.
— Harry F. Banks

Always do one thing less than you think you can do.
— Bernard Baruch

The man with insight enough to admit his limitations comes nearest to perfection.
— Johanne von Goethe

It is vain to do with more what can be done with less.
— William of Occam

Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
— Mark Twain

Never put off until tomorrow what you can get some sucker to do today.
— Workplace graffiti

When policy fails, try thinking.
— Unknown wise person

When you see a snake, never mind where he came from.
— W. G. Benham

Don't interfere with something that ain't bothering you.
— Unknown wise person

But think how early I go.
— Lord Castlerosse, when criticized for continually arriving late for work

If at first you don't succeed, try, try, again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it.
— W. C. Fields

What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do it.
— Ambrose Bierce

It is not worth while to go round the world to count the cats in Zanzibar.
— Henry David Thoreau

If you can't keep up, drag them down to your level.
— Laurence J. Peter

If a project is going wrong, always blame one of your colleagues — but not an intelligent one.
— Joep Schrijvers, (Dutch management consultant)

Some folks can look so busy doing nothin' that they seem indispensable.
— Kin Hubbard

Don't waste time learning the "tricks of the trade." Instead learn the trade.
— H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

When action grows unprofitable, gather information; when information grows unprofitable, sleep.
— Ursula K. Le Guin

Always take an emergency leisurely.
— Chinese proverb

Never let your boss know that you exist.
— Workplace graffiti

Take your secretary to lunch. He'll appreciate it.
— Unknown wise person

When the going gets tough, the smart get lost.
— Robert Byrne

A little inaccuracy saves a world of explanation.
— C. E. Ayres

If you see a snake, just kill it — don't appoint a committee on snakes.
— H. Ross Perot

A committee should consist of three men, two of whom are absent.
— Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree

I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.
— Tom Lehrer

Have no sympathy for people who claim to be "victims" at work. "They aren't victims, but losers.
— Joep Schrijvers, (Dutch management consultant)

No one ever listened himself out of a job.
— Calvin Coolidge

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
— Mark Twain

I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their jobs.
— Samuel Goldwyn (1882-1974)

It's not what you say but the way you say it.
— French proverb

Don't ever make the same mistake twice — unless it pays.
— Mae West

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
— Robert Benchley

Always mistrust a subordinate who never finds fault with his superior.
— John Churton Collins

If you have something of importance to say, for God's sake start at the end.
— Sarah Jeannette Duncan

Use your brain. It's the little things that count.
— Workplace graffiti

Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
— Ambrose Bierce

If you have any problems at all, don't hesitate to shut up.
— Robert Mankoff

A civil servant doesn't make jokes.
— Eugène Ionesco

Live your life, do your work, then take your hat.
— Henry David Thoreau

The Best Things Ever Said about Etiqutte and Manners on The Fun at Work Café

Perfect behavior is born of complete indifference.
— Cesare Pavese

Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness.
— Dorothy Parker

Nothing more rapidly inclines a person to go into a monastery than reading a book on etiquette. There are so many trivial ways in which it is possible to commit some social sin.
— Quentin Crisp