Top-10 Ways to Piss
Off Your Boss
Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American Dream?
— Homer Simpson
In an Internet survey of 2,337 American workers by staffing giant Randstad, almost half of
respondents stated that they did not respect their boss. What's more, only half of the respondents believed that
their boss was competent.
Guess this means that a lot of employees would like to agitate their bosses.
Comment: So what's wrong with the boss?
Answer: He has delusions of adequacy.
Comment: I hear the boss is ill.
Reply: Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
Comment: Did you go to the funeral for your boss?
Answer: No, but I approved it.
to Infuriate Your Boss
When your boss asks you to modify a report that you prepared, reply with, "Who am I to tamper with a
Build a new website that is a parady or your company's
website. Have your fellow workers add to the ridicule.
When your boss asks you to train the new employee and
instill the company values in him/her, reply with, "There are already enough idiots in the world without my
minting more of them."
Go out of your way to ensure that he sees you reading a
copy of The Joy of Not
The next day
ensure that he sees you reading a copy of Work
Send an important e-mail message with
this linked phrase "Especially Designed For Bosses
Tell him or her that you have joined
Workaholics Anonymous — a fellowship of
individuals who share their experience, strength, and hope with each other that they may solve their
common problems and help others to recover from workaholism. Stress to your bosss that your main
reason for having joined is that you want to work a lot less than you have
Show him your latest
tax return in which you have listed his wife under "entertainment
Create a scene when
your boss does something nice for
Write a poem or lyrics
to a song about why your boss should be indicted for abuse to humanity and place it on his
"Meet the new boss
Same as the old boss"
— from the song
Won't Get Fooled Again by the
Comment: How is your new boss?
Answer: He's a man of many talents — all of them minor.
COPYRIGHT © 2015 by Ernie J. Zelinski
Author of The World's Best
All Rights Reserved