Eclectic Work Principles to Help You Succeed with Much Less Effort
- Be as vague as possible and you won't annoy anyone else in the workplace.
- To look busy, walk fast and look serious wherever you go in the office.
- Never walk down a hallway in an office building without a clipboard.
- Consult enough idiots and you can confirm any theory or proposed workplace solution.
- When the facts are in your favor, flaunt them. When the facts are out of your favor, taunt them.
- Nice guys don't finish nice even if they do finish.
- The best way to solve an office problem is
to find someone to solve it for you. Then take the credit.
- Don't waste your
time trying to make anything foolproof — some fools are geniuses
- When in a hurry anything and everything can be filed under miscellaneous.
- Never attempt to outshine a boss with a big ego.
More Eclectic Work Principles to
Help You Lie Low and Avoid Trouble
- Conceal your intentions, particularly from your competitors.
- Play a sucker to catch a sucker; in other words, seem dumber than your victim.
- Always say less than necessary.
- Never try to outtalk someone who knows what he or she is talking about.
- Remember that if you find yourself arguing with an idiot, he or she is doing the same thing.
- If you are given two contradictory orders, either ignore both or obey both.
- If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person. She will find an easier way to do it.
- To err is human; to blame it on someone else is just fine.
- The secret to every major work accomplishment is major deceit about the importance of the
- If you are wondering whether you have enough intellience to solve the problem, you likely don't.
- Asking dumb questions is much easier than rectifying dumb mistakes.
- When you're starting to have a good time, there is a good chance that you're doing your job wrong
— have the good time anyway.
- Beware the free lunch — a free lunch is always worth less than you paid for
- If two wrongs don't make a right, try three or more.
- You don't need to punish, deceive, or compromise yourself — unless you want to
- If at first you don't succeed, don't let anyone know that you tried.
- A good place to find something important is the last place you would expect to find it.
- Having control over yourself can feel almost as good as having control over others.
- Never put off until tomorrow what you can get someone else to do today.
- To beat the rush hour, quit work at noon.
- Be willing to make mistakes only if someone else is willing to learn from them.
- When all else fails, try the boss's suggestion, but don't give him credit for your success.
- If at first you don't succeed, then read the directions.
- Don't hang around with the turkeys if you want to soar with the Eagles.
- Remember that your ego is not your amigo.
COPYRIGHT © 2015 by Ernie J.
Author of The World's Best